The Cracked Glass

By Linda Cornett-Ching

     I had a friend, a best friend. I never had a sister but I imagine this friend and I were as close as sisters could possibly be. We met in College and it wasn’t long before we did everything together. The word that defined our friendship of almost 30 years was laughter. I can’t explain it but she just brought out the funny in me. I like to think I did the same for her. We always found something to make each other laugh over and we never ran out of things to talk about ever! There were times of difficulties and tears as well and we saw each other through those times too.

     A year after college my friend Marj and I got an apartment and jobs. I introduced her to my friend Ken who would later become her husband. Along with my husband John we did everything together. We celebrated birthdays, anniversaries and holidays. We often vacationed and went camping with each other. We even had our babies close together. There’s nothing like enduring pregnancy with your best friend. I would tell her what I was craving and she would show up at my door with a batch of whatever it happened to be, and then I would return the favour. Many times during the week we had coffee and chats, talked on the phone and had dinner at one house or another. We watched movies and spent hours doing cross stitch. There were picnics at the beach, canning, helping one another with home décor projects, kids’ sleep overs and birthday parties. The jokes and pranks we pulled on one another are stories we still tell. I could probably write a book about our amazing and precious friendship.

     For the last ten years of Marj’s life she was ill. Marj discovered she had a kidney disease and then ended up on dialysis. She waited a long time for a transplant that never came. In the end she developed a rare form of throat cancer and was gone in 3 months. Marj never lost her positive outlook on life or her sense of humor. People were drawn to her. The sheer number of people who showed up for her memorial service was a testament to that. It is no cliché to say I think about her every day. Truly there are no words that can express the pain of missing her. I think this is what it must feel like to lose a sibling.

     I know why I loved her. I could list all her qualities. For the longest time though I didn’t know why she would want to be friends with me? Why anyone would want to be my friend? I thought if people really knew me, saw beneath what I let show, they wouldn’t like me at all. Does this resonate with any of you?

     A few years before Marj passed away, we went through something really awful. I won’t go into the details but I will say that what happened would kill a friendship and almost ended ours. She wasn’t speaking to me for a while but I couldn’t let her go. Our friendship was too precious to leave it destroyed. I sought help from our Pastor. He asked me the question why I was friends with her and why did I think she was friends with me? That’s when I realized what wrong thoughts had been hidden in my heart. He hung his head in sadness at my response. I don’t think I will ever forget that.

     He explained something to me I also will never forget. It is like I have a framed photograph of myself and the glass is fractured. He said “God will repair that broken glass and when He is done you will have a true picture, a clear picture of who you really are.” Ever since that day the Father has been doing just that. It might have been that night or shortly after I can’t recall, but a life changing shift took place in my thinking. I realized the truth that I am just like everyone else; not less than, but the same as, on the same level. I have never been the same since. All my life I felt lower than everyone, inferior, flawed and worthless. It’s hard to express in words what it feels like to walk the earth knowing I’m just the same as everyone else. It’s been freeing. God has been healing my wrong thoughts and low self esteem. When God does a work He does a good job!

     Do you know when you think thought’s like “I’m no good, nothing good will ever happen to me, I’m not worth anything, I don’t deserve any better” or perhaps “I’m not pretty like…” “I can’t do that because…” or “I’m scared to…” These are all lies put in your mind by the enemy. God sure didn’t put them there. You don’t have to agree with them. 1Corinthians 2:16 “…but we have the mind of Christ (the Messiah) and do hold the thoughts (feelings and purposes) of his heart.” AMPC This verse says we have the mind of Christ. More and more I want to read the bible and find out what His thoughts are towards me. Find out what He thinks about me. I would rather have those thoughts in my head not only so I can be thinking about these treasures all day instead of the negative loop that usually plays there but also so I know how to shut down the enemy’s lies when they come. Deuteronomy 28:13 “And the Lord shall make you the head and not the tail; and you shall be above only, and you shall not be beneath…” AMPC This verse cancels the lie that I am less than and will always be one of the “have not” group.

Ephesians 1:4 “Even as [in His love] He chose us [actually picked us out for Himself as His own] in Christ before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy (consecrated and set apart for Him) and blameless in His sight, even above reproach, before Him in love.” AMP This verse makes me feel cherished and loved. Papa-God chose me. He picked me for Himself. I feel pretty special just reading this verse but there is more. You are beautiful. Genesis 1:31 says that God made everything and that it was good. Psalms 139:14 tells us we are fearfully and wonderfully made. Ecclesiastes 3:11 God makes everything beautiful in its time.

     Yes, God can make your picture beautiful if you let Him. He has repaired my fractured image to one that although will never be perfect this side of heaven it is a lot clearer now than it was years ago. I am happy to tell you that God is still a God who restores. My friendship with Marj was restored. It was not quite like it was before our misunderstanding but we were happy to be in each other’s lives again. During the last three months of her life we had a few good heart to heart talks. We affirmed what we meant to one another. There was nothing left that needed to be said. Sisters were restored. Only God can do a miracle like that. We had many talks about heaven and I look forward to seeing her again one day.

     Whatever is fractured in your heart, in your thoughts, take it to the Lord. He is waiting for you to ask Him to restore it. He wants to see you whole and happy this side of heaven. Indeed such a thing is possible. He loves you so much lovely one.

Linda is part of the Partners in Christ prayer and ministry team.   She has a heart to see the women of God rise up as daughters of the King and walk in all He has provided for them.

This Week's Verse

 Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness.  Isaiah 41:10 KJV

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